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Why Duke Nukem 3D Is A Good Thing

After ten years in development hell the world was graced with Duke Nukem Forever. It was a misogynistic, racist, and pedantic sub-par shooter that made critics wonder what the wait was for. The criticism of Duke Nukem Forever is a fantastic reflection of how much our culture has matured over the years. Violence against women is no longer a taboo subject relegated only to feminists and those brave enough to speak out against it. We’ve come a long way baby!


Blatant Army of Darkness rip off or nail biting satire? You decide. 

So why exactly celebrate the re-release of the classic Duke Nukem games on Android? Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re an important part of history that deserve a shelf in the gaming canon. Even if it’s an embarrassing shelf. 

Those too young to remember PC gaming in the 90’s missed out on the glory days of first person shooters. Back then Doom blew away audiences and ushered in what would become the most popular genre of video games today. Sure Wolfenstein 3D paved the way for its arrival, but Doom caused so much controversy upon its release that it directly contributed to the creation of the ESRB.


His face looks like it was going for the Gary Busey look. 

Duke Nukem first appeared in 1991 as a 2-D PC platformer. It was a mostly forgettable shooter centered around a muscular white protagonist who killed evil aliens (basically every FPS on the market today). Its poor graphics and mediocre sales saw it ported only to MacOS and had it not been for a slightly better sequel, it probably would have been the end of the story as we know it.

Then in 1996 3D Realms released Duke Nukem 3D. The game represents a lot of what the gaming industry was concerned with in the 90’s: attitude. Duke went from being an Arnold Schwarzenegger rip off to a gun toting, stripper buying, curse spouting psycho. On second thought he became Arnold Schwarzenegger as we know him today. 


Triple barrel ‘American size’ machine gun.

Unlike other shooters at the time, Duke Nukem 3D took place in a lot of realistic settings. Huge franchises like ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare’ have that game to thank for taking the shooter out of fantasy and Sci-Fi settings and into the real world. The real world littered with giant mutants pigs bent on taking over earth.

It also had a fun arsenal of weapons and special skills the likes of which would be common place today in the ‘Resistance’ or ‘Ratched and Clank’ series. 


At 16 this was probably the closest you could get to an actual strip club.

Now Duke Nukem 3D wasn’t exactly what you could call an educated game. Some levels took place in porn theaters, where Nukem would throw money at strippers to see them briefly take off their clothes. It was also riddled with pop culture references and crass one liners. In one memorable moment Duke stares at a ‘Duke Nukem II’ arcade machine and exclaims “I don’t have time to play with myself”. 

Crass attitudes and sexism aside, Nukem 3D was a shockingly good shooter for the time. The graphics were phenomenal, the multiple paths to the goal were novel, the enemies were entertaining, and the entire thing felt like one amazing ride (if you were a teenage boy). It even had rudimentary multiplayer, requiring both opponents to phone each other through dial-up modems. 

So turn off your brain for a weekend and enjoy one of FPS’ most awkwardly treasured artifacts. Sure its crude graphics and attitude may not seem appropriate today, but neither is a slinky and we still keep buying them.

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