It’s okay, you can admit it. Nobody’s watching. You’re with friends here, so let’s just get it out in the open: football is boring.
There. The rest of the world may be going bananas over goals and off-side rulings and something to do with video umpires, but you and I — the cool ones — know how to have a good time for real: by playing loads of Android games.
It’s a mixed bag this week, including a spot of alleged plagiarism and a Beatrix Potter IP that you really won’t have a use for unless you have children. But there’s also some true greatness in the form of Gorogoa and Evoland 2. There’s more than enough here to keep you entertained through the next interminable week of soccer.
Are you a robot living in a simulation created for the enjoyment of paying customers? Maybe. It’s really none of my business. But either way you might enjoy Westworld Mobile — particularly if you enjoyed Fallout Shelter, which Westworld Mobile so closely resembles that its publisher is being sued by Bethesda. Get it here.
If Evoland was proof of concept, Evoland 2 is the product in all its glory. This inventive RPG sequel is full of narrative joy, fun characters, and an ingenious time-hopping premise that sees you visiting several different phases of the technological journey of videogames from simple Game Boy-esque 2D to eye-popping PS One-era polygons. Get it here.
Darkness Rises would be a good title for a history book about the 2010s, but it’s also the title of a very flashy Android game, out this week, in which you hack and slash your way through a fantasy abattoir of magical monsters and awesome dragons. As you can tell from the trailer, it belongs to the God of War school of game design, but that’s no bad thing. Get it here.
Remember Framed? Gorogoa is a bit like that, but it’s also completely different. It’s a puzzle game where the screen is divided into frames, but you’re doing much more than just rearranging them. The whole game is joyous mental and sensory orgy as you solve ingenious puzzles while admiring the painterly visuals. Get it here.
Peter Rabbit: Let’s Go!
Obviously, Peter Rabbit: Let’s Go! is a kids’ game, so if you’re on the lookout for something sophisticated and challenging you should look elsewhere. But if you have kids you need to entertain, it’s a polished, charming, moderately educational licensed app from the team that brought you the hugely popular Pocket Shrek. Get it here.
Like all the best creations, Suzy Cube makes a virtue of its small screen limitations, presenting you with a world made of a crisp, clean blocks that look good enough to eat (seriously, they look like Dolly Mixtures.) The real revelation however is the controls, which work so well you’ll hardly notice that you don’t have a gamepad in your hands. Get it here.
Muse Dash is a runner, but it’s also a rhythm game. It’s not the first title to mash rhythm-action together with another genre, but it’s fairly novel all the same. This is also thanks to its unusual visual style, which blends anime with early, Cuphead-style animation to adorable effect. Get it here.